As an adult and while growing up, we know how difficult it is to find a good friend who knows everything about you and wouldn’t judge you. Wouldn’t it be great if your parent were your friend and you could ask them for advice when stuck without the fear of being judged?
A great indicator that you are a good parent is how comfortable and open your children are with you, but while they recognize the freedom and respect the boundary.
Children struggle with telling their parents different things many times, because of the fear of being judged or denied approval. Having the comfort level of being able to tell the parents anything is imperative if you want a healthy relationship with your child.
It is necessary to build a foundation of great communication with your child which is open to learning and growing. This relationship has to be mutual, where you learn from each other. If you actually, pay attention and listen to them you can learn a lot from your child, despite how old they are. A lot of times in certain areas children actually know way more than us as adults.
Being friends with your child builds more trust and respect in your relationship. This is because by being friends also along with being parents, you start to learn more about each other; your child’s nuances and quirks, what they feel about certain things that you never thought mattered to them, etc. They in turn also learn more about how you are, not just as a parent, but as a human being, how flawed you could be and this realization can also help them realize that parents aren’t perfect and they make mistakes too, which is normal.
This helps develop trust between the parents and children because of the familiarity in behavior and an open relationship. This also helps develop respect and your child would turn up to you for advice or when in difficulty. It often happens that the children are so terrified of what their parents may think and how they may react that they bottle up their emotions and don’t share if they are being bullied, blackmailed or harassed.
Knowing your child better would also help you set rules that you know your child would follow since you have a deeper insight into their personality.
But when it is time to discipline your child, being their friend also helps as you can better explain why you’re disciplining them, as well as what behavior you didn’t approve of.
By being friends with your child, you trust each other much better and you would know when to say yes or no, avoiding the misjudgment as much as possible.
Involve them in daily chores, which will help you bond better, take a bit off your load and also instill responsibility in children. All of this becomes easier if you were friends. you would not have to worry about coaxing them, bribing them and finally threatening them, since they know how tiresome it could get. They slowly begin to see this as fun and relaxing.
It is important not to force it. Your unconditional love and friendship are two of the biggest gifts that you can give to your children, by all means, give them your love, trust, and friendship, and let them know how much you value it.